So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
