I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
