you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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