i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
