He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
