"it" just moved
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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