omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
