I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
