Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
