Ambien. No doubt about it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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