I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
