i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
