She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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