Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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