my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
