come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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