Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If i come over, it means nothing
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
