the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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