It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
