You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
