and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
