Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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