you guys were way drunker than both of me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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