I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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