Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
