hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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