Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
