What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Randomize
