No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
