If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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