people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
