I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
