Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
