The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
