I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
