you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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