The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
