She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
