We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
