my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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