I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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