nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
