we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
