We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
