Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
