She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
