I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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