two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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