i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
