so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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