College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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